Brothers and sisters of people with special health, developmental, and emotional needs often feel like forgotten family members. Parents, whose energy may be consumed in meeting the needs of the disabled child, may have little sense of the turmoil that exists below the surface among their children. School psychologists are also likely to focus on the child with the disability, neglecting the effects on other members of the family. It is essential that both parents and school psychologists become familiar with the experiences and emotions of siblings so assistance can be offered when needed. Siblings may be at risk psychologically if interventions are not considered.

    Sibling relationships are a prominent part of a family. Siblings provide a source of companionship in the early years. Children also learn social skills from the interactions they have with siblings. As siblings reach adolescence they often rely upon each other as advisors and confidants. In adulthood, siblings provide support and encouragement and a social network for one another. Same-sex siblings have a special kind of identification with each other. Since they may be so alike, they can have a special challenge to establish individuality. Two sisters who grew up together tend to be more intimate and sometimes more jealous. Male siblings tend to be more competitive. Power struggles are greater between siblings of the same sex. Siblings are more likely to spend more time with the child with special needs than any other person, except the child’s mother.

    Siblings often feel confused regarding their disabled sibling, this may be due to parents’ reluctance to communicate and explain about their afflicted brother or sister’s condition. Nondisabled siblings are concerned about whether the afflicted sibling’s condition is transmittable. They are unsure if and how they should communicate to friends and family about the disability. These siblings are confused about being held responsible for a particular condition and what implications the disabled child has for their future. Siblings are concerned with how to relate effectively to one’s disabled sister or brother or others. Siblings often do not know how to respond to feeling such as anger, hurt, and guilt.

    Siblings often have two views about the cause of a sister or brother’s disability. One view develops from the information shared by parents and other professionals. The other view is their private thoughts about their disabled brother or sister, this view is one that they are unlikely to share with anyone else. These private thoughts often involve fear and guilt on the part of the nondisabled sibling. Parents and school psychologist need to encourage siblings to share the private thoughts concerning their brother or sister so that they can repeat the important information about the cause of the disability and assure them they are not alone. Siblings of special needs children want a fair distribution of attention from their parents, this could mean having their parents take their problems just as seriously as those of their disabled sibling or just recognizing the positive in each child. Siblings often feel like junior parents and do not express their negative feeling about this role. Brothers and sisters have a host of feelings that run the gamut from confusion, to fear, to anger, to sadness, to embarrassment. Sometimes their shame is so prominent they wish they didn’t even know their brother or sister who looks or acts different.

    A disabled child in the family involves a great deal of time, energy, and emotional resources. Nondisabled siblings often feel responsible for their disabled sibling. Children may be pressed to be involved in the caretaking of the disabled sibling and this may lead to guilt, anger, and possibly psychological disturbance if the nondisabled child receives limited attention from parents. Attention from parents means a great deal to every child in a family. McHale and Gamble (1987) report from their research that children were more depressed, anxious, and had lower self-esteem when they were dissatisfied about how their parents treated them relative to the other children in the family.

    Nondisabled siblings may be burdened by high aspirations to compensate for parental frustrations and disappointments. Some of these siblings may be unable to attain these goals because of intellectual or psychological constraints. Siblings of disabled children may experience anger more intensely and more often than siblings of nondisabled sisters and brothers. Whether nondisabled siblings openly express or harbor feeling of anger or resentment depends on the extent to which a sibling is held responsible for the disabled brother or sister. The extent to which a disabled sibling takes advantage of his or her siblings is also a determinant for how anger and resentment impede sibling relationships. The nondisabled sibling is also concerned about how the disabled sibling restricts his/her social life and may be considered a source of embarrassment. The family’s financial resources, the number and gender of siblings and the extent to which a disabled child requires excessive time and attention from the parents are all factors to consider when gauging the nondisabled siblings anger and resentment.

    Identity issues are also concerns when siblings are not informed about the nature of their brother’s/sister’s disability. If the sibling is an adolescent identity issues may arise since this developmental period seems to be full of questions of self-worth and self-identity. Featherstone (1980) observes that the presence of a disabled child in the family inhibits communication. This lack of communication within a family over a child’s disabling condition contributes to the loneliness typically developing siblings experience. This sense of loneliness can create a detachment from those one typically feels close to. School psychologists need to encourage parents to keep communication between them and their children open.

    School psychologists need to understand that siblings will respond with less anxiety when they are presented with accurate information in a compassionate and understanding manner. Nondisabled children with a combination of certain characteristics and circumstances are children at risk who may require psychological intervention. Although available data have not yet determined the prevalence of emotional problems among siblings residing with a disabled brother/sister compared with that in "typical" families there are things that the school psychologist can do to assist the nondisabled siblings. Many brothers and sisters grow up without resources such as access to support programs and sources of information that may help them in their roles.

    School psychologists have the unique opportunity to intervene and offer information and support programs for siblings of disabled children. School psychologists and parents might consider inviting sisters and brothers to attend planning meetings for IFSP, IEP, informational and transition planning. Attendance at these meetings may help answer questions and also allow them to make contributions about their informed opinion and perspectives regarding their sibling. School psychologist can help educate staff about life as a brother or sister of a person with a disability. School staff may benefit from gaining knowledge through leaflets or inservices. School psychologists may consider developing programs for these children so they can talk with others who understand and are going through similar experiences. Dyson (1998) reports that siblings frequently learned how to improve relationships with the disabled sibling after attending a sibling group. Siblings may also gain more awareness of people with special needs and may come to appreciate the experience and strengths of people with disabilities. A child’s disability impacts the whole family. Studies suggest that siblings wish to have support and discussion groups to help them deal with their own feelings and understanding related to their brother or sister’s disability (Powell & Ogle, 1985; Wilson, Blacher, & Baker, 1989). School psychologists are urged to provide group support for school-age siblings because of the potential risk for developing emotional difficulties in these siblings. Programs have been designed to meet the needs of school-age siblings by providing information about their brothers’ or sisters’ disabilities, social support, opportunities to share their experiences about having a disabled sister or brother, strategies to solve sibling conflicts, and recreational activities. Along with the lack of programs for school-age siblings of children with disabilities, little is known about the effects of sibling support programs due to insufficient program evaluation. Some programs implemented an arts and crafts component, group discussions and sharing of sibling experiences, learning about siblings’ disabilities, and recreational and social time. Students reported that they learned how to improve relationships with the disabled sibling, gained more awareness of different special needs, and have a better understanding about sibling relationships (Dyson, 1998). Although a group program for school-age siblings of children with disabilities maybe drawn from models such as the Sibshop (Meyer et al., 1985), school psychologists can best meet the needs of siblings by developing local programs to address the students’ interests and needs. School psychologists can best meet the needs of disabled and nondisabled siblings and their families with the investment of time, energy, understanding, and knowledge.

REFERENCES

    Dyson, L.L. (1998). A Support Program for Sibling of Children with Disabilities: What Siblings Learn and What They Like. Psychology in the Schools, 35 (1), 57-65.

    Featherstone, H. (1980). A difference in the family. New York: Basic Books.

    McHale, S. M., & Gamble, W. C. (1987). Sibling relationships and adjustment of children with disabled brothers and sisters. Journal of Children in Contemporary Society, 19, 131-158.

    Meyer, D. J., Vadasy, P. F., & Fewell, R.R. (1985). Living with a brother or sister with special needs: A book for sibs. Seattle: University of Washington Press.

    Meyer, D. J. & Vadasy, P. F. (1994). Sibshops: Workshops for siblings of children with special needs. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Company.

    Naseef, R. A. (1997). Special Children, Challenged Parents. New Jersey: Birch Lane Press.

    Powell, T. H., & Ogle, P. A. (1985). Brothers & sisters- A special part of exceptional families. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes.

    Seligman, M. & Darling, R. B. (1989). Ordinary Families Special Children. New York: Guilford Press.

    Wasserman, R. (1983). Identifying the counseling needs of the siblings of mentally retarded children. Personnel and Guidance Journal, 61, 622-627.

    Wilson, J., Blacher, J., & Baker, B.L. (1989, June). Siblings of children with severe handicaps. Mental Retardation, 27, 167-173.

Deborah Mazur

Principles of Social Learning

Task #2